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50 Shades of Wogs: The Official Thread

#1
Hey everyone! This is the official thread for my fanfiction. This will be the thread where I post the chapters, and you can all read and write your comments and suggestions. Enjoy!

50 Shades of WoGs Chapter 1: The Banana, The Grey, and the Park Bench



The cold winds of night surrounded a lonely park bench. The innocent sobs of a conflicted man could be heard as he was eclipsed by his own loneliness. His nails dug into his arms as he cradled himself to console the harsh reality he was facing; He was utterly alone and had no one to love or help him. All he had was the comfort of the wind, and the warmth of the light post above him.

At this moment, a slender attractive man started walking by. He was well dressed, armed with a black business suit, checkered purple tie, and white socks with patterns of cats on them. His hair was slicked back with a gel that didn\'t hold it too tightly, but tight enough to keep his hair in place. He was the essence of a refined, suave business man.

\"Excuse me sir. I couldn\'t help but notice that you were sitting on a park bench in the dark all by yourself. You see, it\'s my hobby to walk in deserted parks at night time. It makes me feel alive.\" He explained.

The other man looked up at the stranger, wiping his eyes and controlling himself. \"I just had some bad news delivered to me. My Uncle\'s Nephew\'s Cousin\'s Brother\'s Sister\'s Aunt Twice Removed was killed in a freak banana eating accident. I had to remove myself from my apartment to control myself and just figure out what to do.\" His eyes were red and cheeks stained with tears. His disheveled state told his acquaintance that he had been there a while.

\"My name is Atheist Grey. And if you would like, you can come back to my apartment if you\'d like. It sure beats sitting in the cold by yourself. What\'s your name?\"

The man looked up at Grey and wiped his eyes again. \"My name is Karkat...\" he whispered, taking his gaze away from the man. But when he looked back, he could see that Grey had outstretched his hand. Feeling safe, he took hold, and the two went walking off together.

\"Thank you...\" Karkat sighed under his breath.

\"It isn\'t a problem. So many things could happen to a man in the park by his lonesome. At least this way, you\'ll be a bit safer.\"

They walked for a bit letting themselves get lost in the twilight. The stars began shimmering and the light of the moon shone beautifully down upon them. The winds continued to blow as the rustling of leaves and bushes were the only sounds that could be heard for miles. Karkat felt a bit uneasy, but he felt a strength and confidence in this new person that made him feel oddly close to him. Like things were going to be okay. They stopped and Grey shuffled his hand in his pocket. He took out some keys and began unlocking his door. He opened it up and turned on the lights as they both walked in, and Grey slowly closed the door behind them.

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50 Shades of WoGs Chapter 2: The Ancient Glock of Liath Drain

There was a red headed man in a kilt who began violently banging symbols together while singing 'Amazing Grace.' People began throwing tomatoes at him as he backed away and ran out of the comedy club.

"MAH NAYEM IZ LIATH. I AM UHF THE HYY CLAN. I WEEL BEE TEH FUHNEST MAHN UHF ALL TIEM" He exclaimed. But unfortunately for him, another tomato pelted him in the face, causing the man to slowly walk away.

Karkat stood in awe of the apartment complex of Atheist Grey. It was big and full of artistic paintings from Van Gogh and Picasso. The floor was made of marble and the walls lined with purple silk. His couch was of pure memory foam lined with a velvet sheet. "This is Casa De Grey. Nothing too fancy. In my spare time, I take pictures of naked people and sell them for trillions of dollars. As I said, nothing fancy."

Karkat gulped. He was a tad overwhelmed. The apartment was gigantic and full of things you'd expect snobby rich people to have. Fucking Grey. Thinking he was so smug and shit. Piece of crap...*ehem* Karkat was looking around and saw a door that said "Don't go in here." He walked towards it when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. "I'd listen to that sign if I were you. That room is under....renovation." Karkat nodded and slowly stripped himself of his jacket. Grey smiled. "I bet you're starving! I'll fetch us some things to eat." Wasting no time at all, Grey walked up the stairway, leaving Karkat alone and eyeing the door.

As Liath walked down the street he saw a light coming fast upon him. He cowered as a motorcycle did doughnuts around him and stopped in a controlled fashion. In front of Liath was a man dressed from head to toe in leather. He had sunglasses as dark as the night sky, and a jacket with spikes armed on his shoulders and gloves. A chain wrapped around his pants like a belt. "What'sa punk ass bitch like you doing in my territory?" The man asked.

"NUTHIN' MUCH SER. I WUZ JUST WALKEN' HOEM FRUM DUH COMEDY CLUB." Liath yelled at him.

The figure took the cigarette out of his mouth and blew smoke rings in Liath's face, causing him to cough. "Little cracker jack is lost I see. The fuck you pretendin' to be? Stupid? Why're you talkin' so stupid?" The figure asked.

"I'm Irish European, and I actually have a profound mastery of the English Language good sir, however, people underestimate me due to my voice so they never expect things like this!" instantly Liath stripped off his clothes, revealing a karate uniform armed with 2 black belts. With lightening fast speed, Liath sent a round house kick towards the figure who gracefully dodged. But the shockwave from the kick hit the stranger who was sent flying as a result.

The man dusted himself off and smirked. "Been a while since I've had to get serious..." Clenching his fits, he started squatting as he began yelling. His hair started raising and lightning crackled around his body. His eyes turned green as a yellow aura engulfed him and his hair turned a golden-yellow hue. "You're the first to see this form..I call this...Super Knitter."

Liath ran in a fury at this foe and threw a blind punch which was easily dodged. The man then sent a devastating punch to Liath's gut, who went flying back and crashed into a wall. "TIME TO FINISH THIS!" The golden warrior screamed. Suddenly, his hand began to glow. "THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER! IT'S BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU! SHINING FINGER!" He ran towards the figure who had a ball of swirling energy in his hand. The two attacks collided as they were both engulfed in a golden blue light.

As the light subsided, they both were on opposite ends of their arena. The surrounding area filled with craters and battle scars and fire. They both smiled at each other.

"What's your name, Stranger?" Liath asked.

"My name's Finger Knitter. And I think we should stick together for a bit.

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50 Shades of WoGs Chapter 3: Karkat in the Closet.

Liath tried to muster up the strength to stand, but couldn't find it within him to do so. He'd used all his strength in the battle. However, his gaze met with Finger's as his opponent smiled and offered to help him up. Liath smirked and grabbed his hand as Finger helped him up. The two observed the damage they had done to the area as they began laughing away the pain. But without warning they were both slammed against the wall with a strong hand clutching both of their necks. Grasping for air, they both looked in front of them as a hooded figure met their gaze. The shadow said nothing but continued choking the life out of them. Finger then blew a puff of smoke in the man's face and snapped his fingers, triggering an explosion.

Finger and Liath gasped for air as they were sent skidding backwards across the pavement. The hooded figure clapped his hands together. "WoGs Style: Air Palm of the Deads." He thrust his hands forward as a burst of air was sent towards Finger and Liath, sending them crashing into the building behind them. The figured clapped his hands together again. "WoGs Style: Fist Barrage of the Deads." The figure blitzed towards them as he began pummeling his fists rapidly into both of them. The cement began crumbling behind the two as they broke through the foundation, causing the building to collapse. The figured chuckled as dust filled the area. Then Finger appeared right behind him, taking a swipe with his Shining Finger. He scratched the man's cloak, but the man jumped out of the way and began flying off. The only thing Finger could make out were the letters "DD" on his chest. "DareDevil? No..Can't be. That's trademarked.." Finger pondered to himself. He could only watch as the figure disappeared into the night. But then it dawned upon him. Liath! He began digging through the rubble as he found Liath, badly injured under all the debris. "No! Liath! You can't die yet! You were just introduced!" Finger shouted. Mounting Liath over his shoulder, Finger just began running; hoping to find any source of help that he could. He stopped when he ran into a cloaked dwarf.

'Nech....My Name is Kappa...I am the seller and buyer of things rare and expensive....I have all sorts of things to tickle your fancy...And all sorts of things to buy if the price is fair. What can I do for you?"

"MY FRIEND IS DYING YOU SHORT CONCEITED FUCKER. HELP HIM OUT."

'Ah...I see. You need a Regen Bubble...It will fix him up as good as new. Yes...This I can assure..." Kappa cackled.

"Fine you dirty old midget. How much do you want?"

"You caught me on a good day....100 points is my price. Anything less will not suffice!"

Finger sighed as he handed over the points, and Kappa handed over the bubble. "Paid me nicely, that you have. This gun you bought for halve. Connected to me, now you are. Call for me, I'll never be far~" And with that, Kappa disappeared in a flash of smoke.

Finger activated the Regen Bubble as he and Liath slowly began gaining vitality. "Finger...you saved my life, man..." Liath choked.

"Shut up...Just focus on resting."

Karkat made his way readily to the door. His arm on the knob when he heard Grey walking downstairs. "Guess who's back?~ I made Shrimp Puffs! With S'mores!"

Karkat darted to the closet as he closed himself inside, observing the area. Grey looked around confused and put the tray of food back on the table. "Karkat? Karkat where are you?" He asked soothingly. Karkat gave up and walked out. "What were you doing in my closet?" Grey asked. "Oh you know...Just dressing accordingly" *cue laugh track*

Grey smiled as he motioned for Karkat to sit down. Karkat looked at the food and began feasting away. But suddenly, he got tired and dizzy. All he saw was Grey smirking at him before he passed out.

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50 Shades of WoGs Chapter 4: Grey's Packing Heat

Karkat awoke with a ballgag in his mouth. Frantically scrambling around. He found his wrists cuffed to the bed posts and he was only covered in a loose grey t shirt. "Ah. You're awake. I was wondering when you'd come to. Sorry about drugging you. But unfortunately, I have business to attend to..."

Grey slowly began stripping himself of his pants as Karkat muffled and moaned and struggled. He then stopped as Grey through his pants in a washing machine. "My pants got stained earlier. They needed to be cleaned. I do hate wearing dirty clothes. But I believe you would like an explanation to your situation. You see...I have a boss that I answer to. We who work for him know nothing about him. We only know he goes by one letter: J. He is always surrounded by bitches who love and surround him. He is quite the womanizer. Even moreso than myself. He also has a right hand man who you don't want to be on the opposing side of...But my boss has taken notice of you, Karkat. And would like to request that you join his company."

Karkat groaned and tried to speak, but the gag stopped him. "I had a feeling you'd say that..." Grey sighed. He looked at his watch and pressed a button. "I've got him. You can call in now."

One of Grey's pictures turned into a huge television as a Skype call came in. The only thing was the letter 'J' Grey accepted the call and a silhouette appeared in the screen.

"Watashi wa, J. Sore wa, Karkat anata o mitasu tame ni yorokobidesu yo." J said. Watashi wa anata no sainō no tsūchi o totte iruto anata wa watashi no shita de hataraku tame ni boshū shitai to omoimasu."

Grey took the ballgag out of Karkat's mouth. Who spat at the screen. "I don't know anything about you at all! Why would I work for a psychopath like you!?"

"Watashi wa anata no saiai no sōtaitekina, Karkat o korosu o tantō hitoridesu." J responded.

"WHAT?! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE."

"Anata no kimochi o kensaku shimasu. Anata wa sore ga shinjitsudearu koto o shitte imasu."

"I'll kill you, J. I fucking swear. I will kill you!"

Just then the silhouette disappeared.

"Oh dear...." Grey said. You shouldn't have said that. Now you've made an enemy of him and you're going to be doomed.

"I don't care. That bastard has to pay."

"No Karkat, you don't understand....J is OP as shit. He'll perma ban you from life. You can't fight him."

The only thing that was left was to untie Karkat and ponder what the hell they could do next.

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50 Shades of WoGs Chapter 5: It All Comes Together.

Inside of a huge building lay a room full of gears. Slowly rotating around, never stopping. There was barely any light except from monitors and whatever cracks of light broke through.

"So, what exactly happened, J?" Asked a giant shadow.

"It seems getting Karkat will be a bit tougher than I expected." J replied. "It won't be tough though. He just needs a bit...persuading."

"If I need to go Bunneh crazy on an asshole, I'll do it."

"I admire your passion, Derpeh. But overkill isn't needed yet. We need to go with a more subtle approach..."

Seconds later, the hooded figure that attacked Liath and Finger phased in a cloud of black smoke.

"Ah, Devon. You returned. How was your little scouting quest?"

"Quiet. But I ran into two very strong individuals. They're not the type to obtain though."

"Hm. More flies to be squashed later on."

5 yellow balls of electricity slowly formed around J and started revolving around him. "Derpeh, right now we can afford to lay back. However, Devon, there's a pit stop I want you to make."

"Grey?"
"Grey..."

And with that, Devon disappeared.

Liath had fallen asleep, obviously exhausted from his encounters with Finger and Devon. But Finger couldn't bring himself to relax. He felt uneasy and restless. He once again propped Liath on his shoulder, and hopped on his motorcycle and rode off into the distance.

Karkat tried to relax his wrists as Grey sighed. Knowing what was to come. "Listen. We got to get out of here. One thing J hates the most is rejection. The last place we want to be right now, is he---"

And then BLAM. Grey was engulfed in an explosion as Karkat slammed against a wall. Frantically looking around, he scurried under the bed and watched in horror was it was flung out the giant hole. Devon grabbed Karkat by his collar and slammed him against the wall. Looking into his eyes, he moved his hand towards Karkat's throat. About to choke him enough to knock him out, Devon squinted as what seemed to be a giant wall of light rushed towards him. He began sizzling and screeched as he let go of Karkat and phased off.

Karkat passed out as he saw someone grab him and run.

Liath and Finger until noon time the next day when they saw news casters and helicopters everywhere. From what they could hear, the apartment of Atheist Grey had been bombed and nearly burned to the ground. No bodies could be found and no surveillance footage was kept. The two men sighed as they kept riding towards wherever the road took them. They stopped when they reached the beach. Liath got off and stretched, making his way towards the sand, and burying himself under it like a blanket. Finger couldn't help but smile as he made a sand bed of his own.

J slammed his hand into the wall, causing it to crack from the force. "You're meaning to tell me you failed!? Who the hell attacked you!?"

"I couldn't see" Devon answered.

J staggered towards him and drove his hand through Devon's heart. Devon turned into smoke and was absorbed into J's body. "You stay there and think about what you've done."

"Is there a problem, J?" Derpeh asked.

"Yes. A major one. And I'll have to prepare. Finger, Liath, Karkat...I want them all dead."
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#2
"At this moment, a slender attractive man started walking by. He was well dressed, armed with a black business suit, checkered purple tie, and white socks with patterns of cats on them. His hair was slicked back with a gel that didn\'t hold it too tightly, but tight enough to keep his hair in place. He was the essence of a refined, suave business man." I really just want this to be a model that someone makes and only I can use.
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#3
50 Shades of WoGs: All's Fair in Ham and Cheese.

A boy was seen washing some car windows with a tattered rag and a bucket of sulfuric acid. His rosy cheeks were covered with mustard and several remnants of ham and cheese sandwiches littered around him. A pug nuzzled up against him. "OH SIR PUGSLEY. YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND." Ham screamed in a high pitched voice. 'I LOVE YOU SO MUCH."

Just then, the boy felt a smack against the back of his head. He clutched his head and looked behind him. To his shock and horror, he was being eclipsed by a giant bunny with one eye half open. The bunny opened his mouth and devoured the child and his beloved dog whole. "I hate Squeakers. But I shall deliver you and your puppy to safety." The bunny promised. He concentrated and wings spread out from the back of his back and he flew off like a majestic fucking eagle. People who saw the Bunny flying through the air could do nothing but cry from the beautiful sight.

But in the Rabbit's stomach, Ham held on to Pugs for dear life. Scared and unsure where he was going. But, then a TV inside the rabbit's stomach turned on.

"You must be confused. My name is J. And I am the owner of the company called Wogs. I'm OP as Shit and can make all your dreams and nightmares come true. If I'm recruiting you, it's because I see potential in you and want to...collect you...Will you let me?"

"SURE. THAT SOUNDS FUCKING AWESOME. I LOVE BEING NEEDED. I LOVE HAM AND CHEESE SANDWIC---" And with that, the boy was muted as his lips were sewn shut.

"You've been perma gagged. As for your little doggy...I'll find a use for him."

A green energy began swirling around the puppy, who began transforming into a human-dog hybrid. "I need warriors for my cause, after all."

Karkat woke up, looking around as to find any way to identify where he was. "Owww...My head...Where am I?"

Another cloaked person approached him. "I saved you from J. You should be thanking me, young one."

Karkat looked confused. His eyebrow raised and his dick flaccid. "I don't understand..I was with Grey...then...GREY! Is Grey okay!? Where is he!? I remember..."

"I could not find any remnants of your friend Grey. I apologize my friend..."

Karkat was silent for a few moments. It just dawned on him that he truly cared about Grey despite knowing nothing about him. And now that person had been taken from him.

"You're needed. There is a person of prophecy that is supposed to rise up and challenge J. This warrior has not shown himself. But it is only a matter of time."

Karkat nodded as he wondered who this person was.

Finger and Liath woke up from their sandy beds. They both smacked their lips as the waves washed against the shore. The sun shining brightly upon them. It didn't matter where they were going. As long as neither of them was where they were.

"I'm bored..." Liath sighed, looking at the waves. Finger picked him up, shocking the individual, and threw him in the ocean. Liath was then promptly eaten by a shark. "Well it looks like I found your boredom...a bit fishy..."
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#4
50 Shades of WoGs chapter 7: Killas and Rock Don't Mix.

"Listen, I don't give a flying fuck who you are. I need to get the fuck out of here!" Karkat growled. As the figure outstretched his hands, Karkat clenched his buttcheeks together and started wheezing and straining. His body began trembling as he finally released a giant amount of gas which propelled him through the roof of the cave. He began flying through the sky, his gas propelling him forward. "I'M FUCKING SUPERMAN. DO YOU LOVE ME NOW, MOM!?" Karkat cried in happiness.

10,000 miles away, Karkat's mother looked up from the newspaper she was reading, looked left and right, shrugged her shoulders, and then went back to reading.

Karkat had never felt so free. He was flying through the air and laughing in excitement. He could see the city of WogsVille ahead and he knew he had to go for it.

"Get your dildos...Piping hot, fresh dildos. Great for anal, great for eating, great for anything. Use them as a party favor for your child's birthday party, a gift for your girlfriend who is getting sexually tired of you, a replacement for you lacking any genitals at all." Zeno said in a bored fashion. Pushing a cart of dildos around. A shadow appeared above him as he looked up and then BAM BOOM BA ZANGA. Karkat landed right on top of him and exploded.

"Sorry mister! Oh...he's dead..." Karkat sighed. Poor Zeno. Actually, not really. Fuck that guy.

"Hey scrubsicle...I don't like you, m8. So I'mma rek you MLG style."

"Who the fuck are you?" Karkat asked.

"My name's Killa Cam? And I'm kinda a big deal. I have a bit of an ego and sometimes when I talk, I put an upward inflection on things like I'm asking a question. 420yoloswag I fucking hate Roscoe."

"Who...?"

"DON'T WORRY, KARKAT. TIS' I, THE HERO OF THE STORY AND THE ONE THE PROPHECY SPOKE OF." Roscoe announced. Making his presence known.

All the guys and girls swooned as Roscoe made his entrance. Even Killa could hide the whomping boner that he was getting.

"Dude...You left literally nothing to the imagination there. And now you spoiled the entire story for like..everyone." Karkat said.

"Quiet, Karkat! This is a higher up member of J's army. He is quite dangerous. We're in for a huge battle on our hands..."

"Such a fucking douchebag troll..."

"So I've like...had enough of this shit?" Killa said. "I like...wanna challenge you to an MLG Snipe Off."

"I ACCEPT."

Killa took out his gun and started playing it like a guitar. "Yes you are fucked! Shit out of luck! Now my gun's out and my buck you suck. This world will be mine! And you're first in line! You challenged me now, and now you will both die!"

"Wait! Wait! Wait! You mother fucker! We challenged you to a snipe off. Give us the chance to shoot your socks off." Karkat and Roscoe sang.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! The Killa code prevents me...From declining a snipe off challenge...What are your terms? What's the ca-a-atch?"

"If we win...J will perma ban your ass to Hell. And you will also have to never snipe again~" Roscoe sang.

"And what if I win?" Killa asked.

"Then you can get Karkat banned too."

"What?!" Karkat asked.

"Trust me, Kar. It's the only way."

"What are you talking about!?"

"To be your little bitch~"

"Fine! LET THE SNIPE OFF BEGIN! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA" Killa laughed. Shooting all of his targets perfectly. "I'MMA THE KILLA, I'M THE WINNA. CHECK THESE SHOTS THEY'RE FUCKING TASTY! I'M THE KILLA I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. WHATEVER I HATE I'M GONNA TAUNT~ THERE'S NEVER BEEN A SNIPE OFF THAT I'VE EVER LOST. I CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE KAR TO A CELL. I'M GONNA FILL HIM WITH MY KILLA LOVE GEL~ I'LL MAKE HIM SQUEAL AND MAYBE GET MY MAIL."

"NOOOOO!" Karkat screamed.

"C'mon Kar! Let's shoot some thunder!" Roscoe said with confidence.

"There's just no way that we can win...That was so MLG"

"Listen to me..."

"He shoots too hard because he's a CSGO Tryhard..."

"GAH DAMMIT KAR. He's gonna make you his sex slave! Make sandwiches with mayonnaise!"

"No...."

"Unless we shoot a massive, monster, mamma jam!"

"We've been through so much shit."

"Deactivated trip mines with my dick!"

"Now it's time to shoot this fucker down." They sang in unison

"C'mon Kar now it's time to shoot doors down."

"I hear you, Roscoe, now it's time to blow doors down."

"Light up the stage cause it's time to a showdown."

"We'll bend Killa over and shoot him in his brown town."

"NOW WE'VE GOT TO BLOW THIS FUCKER DOWN"

"He's gonna spank me if we do not blow doors down."

"C'mon Kar now it's time to blow doors down!"

"We'll piledrive him, now it's time for the throwdown!"

"Hey stupid fucker! The Tryhard Boss! We know your weakness! My Roscoe Glock!"

"He has the Rekker! Cecilia of Time! We will defeat you, for all mankind!"

"You hold the BreakOut Case. We hold the Key! You are the Killa! Now take my D!"

"Now take his D, Now take his D, Now take his D, Now take his D, Now take his D, Now take his D, Now take his D, Now take his D!" They both sing. Shooting every target to the point of utter decimation. Nothing was left.

"NOOOOO!" Killa cried out as a huge bolt of Lightning struck him. All that was left was a message. "User Killa Cam has been banned by J. Reason: Lul"

Roscoe and Karkat huffed as they were exhausted.

Derpeh was seen on top of a building, masturbating. "Fuck...that was hot. Oh Roscoe..."
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#5
this just got awkward.
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#6
LOL welp, guess kat was kinda right in the end.
The king of dying by fall damage on a T round
"Nobody likes tits" -Ham and Cheese, 2K15
"I 100% swear I was a t" -DerpehBunniez
(responding to question about my rank) "Yes, finger is finger" -Kyi
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#7
50 Shades of WoGs Chapter 8: I can't believe it's not Budder.

After Derpeh had relieved himself. He smirked. "Oh yeah...I almost forgot...Back to business." He took out a gun that had "Derp" etched in on it. "My Crescent Rose is the perfect weapon for this." He scoped in at Roscoe and lined the crosshair to his head. "Nothing personal, but I do like killing people almost as much as you like killing and trolling people. And believe me...You have a thirst that cannot be satisfied."

Derpeh took the shot, the bullets from the Crescent Rose ringing out, spelling "abuse" with the smoke trail that they left.

"Roscoe! NOOO!" Karkat yelled as he pushed Roscoe out of the way. The bullets hit Karkat right in the head, who fell to the ground lifeless. Derpeh laughed. "Jokes on him. I was aiming for Roscoe, but my bullets will always hit you, Gamzee."

Roscoe cradled Karkat's body in his arms. "First Grey....Then Karkat...WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO!?"

"Uh, I'm right here." Grey laughed.

"The fuck!? You died though! Devon sploded you!"

'Nah man. I had an HP Increase. I just jumped out the window to fuck with Karkat. I was never in any danger."

Roscoe threw Karkat's body carelessly to the floor as he and Grey bumped fists together. They put their arms together and walked away.
"You know, Roscoe. I sure am glad you're in the story now."

"Me too, Grey. Me too."

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, another boy could be see playing a harmonica. He had a sign that said "Butter for sale. $1" and his clothes were a little ragged. He looked above as a giant bunny descended upon him. "'Ey Mister. Ain't nevur seen a flyin' bunneh befor' Wouldja like ta' buy sum budder? They all call meh budder cuz I eat it all day. Yuck yuck!"

Derpeh slapped him across the face and flew away, leaving the boy saddened because he had lost his friend. But, he got up and quickly took chase; Unaware that Derpeh was taking Pugs and Ham to J.

Finger got on his motorcycle once again and rode off towards the city, having heard all of the commotion from the Sniper Off between Killa, Roscoe, and Karkat. Curiosity was getting the better of him and he wasn't one to back down from a fight. He zoomed as he put on Ghost Rider and trying to impersonate Nicolas Cage. It's just something he did in his spare time. But he was tackled and forced off his bike.

"OOoooo~ Finger baybay~ It's me<3 FullyBusterwuster<333" Full cooed. "I would l-o-v-e to get you some ice cream<3" he mouthed. "How about we just cuddle up real close, watch some anime and just snuggle wuggle like the old days?~"

With no hesitation, Finger shot him in the face. "No...Never again. I'm not who I was in the past....And I'll never be that man again after....that happened..."
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#8
50 Shades of WoGs: Chapter 9: A Beast and a Kat walk into a bar

A hand rose from the crater, and soon a body. It was Zeno, wearing armor made of Dildos. He had survived the impact. "These dildos...are so resilient...that they can even...block...death" he said as he lost consciousness.

Meanwhile, in town hall, the mayor of the city walked out to a roaring applause. Cameras focused on him. "Hello people of Wogsville! I am your mayor, Jason! And it has come to my attention that there has been quite a degree of destruction and death in our fair city. And, as mayor, I will respond to these and make sure those who are behind these attacks will be dealt with."

And with that, Jason walked back inside, causing a flurry of voices and camera lights to fill the area. "That guy doesn't even know how to hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes!" "His grammar makes my head hurt.." "Does he even pay attention to the server!?" "Jason for demotion!" "BOOO" "I like Turtles!"

If they only had any idea what their mayor was truly like, they would have been far, far more afraid.

Meanwhile, TheBeast had walked into a bar and ordered a Dimple Pinch Neat. He began drinking as two people sat next to him. "My name's Kat." one announced. "And I'm ThorSniper." The other stated. Both of their tones were cold and lifeless.

"Nice ta meet ya." Beast said, tipping his hat. But he kept his eyes trained on both of them as they began rustling around their coats. Beast did a backflip as Kat shot her Sweetness and Love at him, and Thor shot his Trap AK 47.

Beast took out his "TheBeast" and shot Kat in the leg. She cringed as she realized quickly that she was fatally poisoned and there was no helping her. She used a knife to cut off her leg and threw it in the air, to which Thor shot the leg and it exploded. However, Beast did a barrel roll and so he missed the explosion. Thor jumped through the smoke and they both met face-to-face again. Their respective guns lined up with their throats. They both smiled.

"You killed my partner. I have a problem with that." Thor smirked.

"Well, I have a problem with how easy to kill she was. Professionals must be lacking these days."

They both sent a kick and a punch towards the other, knocking the guns out of each others range and going in towards each other with their fists. Blood was splattered across the floor as they sent a series of kicks and punches to knock the other down. Both of them truly enjoying the chaos they were creating. Sirens were heard as Thor looked up, throwing down a smoke grenade and escaping in the chaos. The authorities came in and arrested Beast, who was only released when it was discovered that it was he who was attacked.

Beast finished his drink, left a tip, and walked quietly out of the bar.

Finger stood over the body of Fullbuster. A pool of blood lying at his feet. With a huge smile, Finger began laughing as he slowly regained composure. This hadn't been the first time he had killed someone. And it wouldn't have been the last either. He closed his eyes and remembered all of the times he had taken a life. It wasn't a new thing, but it's what he had to do to survive.

Budder kept on chasing Derpeh, who had since landed inside of a huge mansion. Opening his mouth, he let Pugs and Ham out, also opening the door to let Budder in. The three of them huddled together, scared of where they were.

"Now now, children. No need to fear. So long as you do what I say, you get to keep your lives."

All of them nodded as once again, a masked figure stepped out. He was masked by a human skull along with a tattered brown cloak. He had wings on both sides and a crooked knife. "I'm J. And I'm planning to rule everything. How about it? How about we make a new world together?"
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#9
Never trust a pug.
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#10
50 Shades of WoGs Chapter 10: eG and Camera's Super Happy Lucky Go Fun Time, Yeah!

Before our story began, there were 4 ultimate powers: Jason, Derpeh, eG and his sidekick monkey, Camera. Who had the ability to change his form into a camera who could steal people's souls. This chapter focuses on the fate of these four.

Once upon a time, there was a Utopia. The Kawaii Klub. It was a sanctimonious community filled with rules that benefitted all and everything was harmonious. The two closest of the group: eG and Derpeh. eG was a relatively sized person. A bit of a belly and glasses and acne. He had messy brunette hair and was obsessed with crossdressing and getting laid. However, he was still loved by all. Even if he was a little bit of a fucking slut. Derpeh was a hybrid of a man and a bunny who was also 1/4 cat. He had one eye that was always halfway shut, resulting in people jokingly calling him "Derpeh." The two grew up together and were the best of friends. Always playing games with each other and eG's magic monkey sidekick, Camera. Together, the three abused and did whatever the fuck they wanted.

But on Derpeh's 16th Birthday, things began to change quite drastically in a way that would affect the world, and themselves for years to come.

"Psst. Hey Derpeh, come here."

"Oh, hey Jason! What's up?"

"Listen, I can't talk for more than 5 minutes, but I need to ask you an important question."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Wanna leave the Kawaii Klub and do evil stuff?"

"Sure! That sounds fun! What will our community be called?"

"Well, I didn't say anything about a community, but if I had to think of one, I'd call it...World of Gods."

With that, Jason and Derp high fived each other, and Jason ran off. But eG saw Derp and ran over to him.

"E-Er...Derpeh-Kun-Sama....I have a Birthday present for you...<3~" eG blushed, handing over a box.

Derpeh looked down at it and opened it up. Revealing a rather large gun. "What is it?"

"It's called a Crescent Rose. The only one of its kind. I got it for you."

Derpeh smiled and embraced his friend. He then ran off and began playing with his new toy.

Hours upon hours passed, and eG sat alone with Camera at the birthday table. A color changing room with pictures of eG and Derp everywhere. In the middle was a sagging birthday cake, with candles whose flames had already faded. "Don't cry, eG. He'll be here. I know he will!" Camera nuzzled against eG trying to console him, when a hologram came in the middle.

"Unfortunately, Derpeh is my play thing now. He had his fun with you, and now it's time for him and I to move onto something greater." Jason laughed and laughed causing eG to glare and force the hologram off. "Camera...We're going after him."

They rushed out of the home and began full speed pursuit of Derpeh. When they caught up, they were on opposing sides of the Canyon of the Beginning.

"DERPEH!" eG called.

Derpeh slowly turned around and faced eG. His eyes cold. "Hello, Loser." Derpeh responded.

eG gritted his teeth. "So is that it!? After everything we've been through together, you're just going to turn tail just like that!?"

"I'm done playing Kawaii. It's time that I gained more power through Jason, and became a God."

eG jumped to the other side, landing on Derpeh and furiously punched him across the face. "Did that wake you up!?"

Derpeh kneed him in the gut, and punched him across the face, sending eG falling to the depths of the river below. Derpeh could do nothing but stare. The river started rippling as an explosion came, Camera swifting flew towards Derp, who dodged it and quickly took out his Crescent Rose and shot Camera in the back. Making the monkey fall to the ground. Almost as quick as a flash, eG appeared and sent a fist towards Derp, who blocked the hit with his gun, and butted it against eG's face, sending him stumbling back. eG zoomed forward and headbutted Derpeh, as he jumped onto him, and they both tumbled into the river below. The Crescent Rose dropping after.

When they emerged, Derpeh had eG by the neck, strangling him. He grabbed his Crescent Rose, aimed it at eG's heart, and sighed. "Goodbye, eG. You were my closest friend..." It was then Derpeh took the shot, and let go. Letting eG slowly slip to the depths of the water. Derpeh started walking away when a huge explosion came once more from the water, and a giant rainbow aura covered eG. His wound began closing, his eyes a piercing blue. And he grew fangs and claws.

"This power....Is he...some sort of monster!? You...eG...What the hell are you!?"

"I'm your friend! And that's why...I refuse to let some monster like Jason take you! I'll take you back home...even if I have to break every bone in your body!"

Sending a shockwave Derpeh's way, eG began a furious assault on him, pounding him to oblivion, picking him up, and throwing him against the rocks. Derpeh was too slow and couldn't even begin to match or even see eG's speed. All he could do now was get pummeled mercilessly.

eG once again threw Derpeh at the rocks, and clapped his hands together. "WEABOO WAVE!" A gush of rainbow light escaped his hands as the wave hit Derpeh full on. The wave was intended to seal evil people away forever at the cost of one's life. Derpeh pushed his hands forward "WEABOO WAVE REPULSION!"

eG's eyes widened as the wave went careening into a nearby cliff face. He stared down Derpeh as they both panted.

"eG...It's true that you're special....But...." a mark started to appear and consume Derpeh's body. Transforming him into a muscular demon bunny with dark black and red wings. "I'm more special than you."

eG rushed at his friend, who easily repelled his attack, sending him flying backwards. eG couldn't move his arm as Derpeh smiled once more. "It's time we wrap this up...I don't feel like losing."

eG stared at Derpeh and held out his hand, a swirling ball of rainbow energy forming in his hands. Derpeh quickly put his hand in a claw shape and thrust his hand towards the ground, lightning began swarming his hand and peeling his skin.

They looked at each other once more, as they jumped from their respective platforms, and thrust their attacks toward each other.
"Rainbow Ball!"
"One Hundred Ducks!"

The two attacks collided and a giant ball of energy consumed the two of them, destroying mostly everything around them. When the ball vanished, eG was left on the ground, lifeless, and Derpeh, standing over him. Derpeh clutched his arm, and slowly walked away.

He didn't know his friend had survived the battle, nor that he had lost a majority of his powers. Yes, Derpeh wouldn't know for years to come. It was eG who rescued Karkat from Devon, and eG who was helping Karkat before Karkat stormed off. eG had tracked his friends movement, and it was now time to strike him down.
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