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51 Shades of Wogs: Official Thread

Chapter 1: Why have sex when you could have a bagel?

In a glowing amalgamation of light, debris and air mixed together. Twirling around delicately and swiftly, a huge light blasted the cosmos as the universe was restored to its former glory. It had previously been destroyed by the three way battle between Derpeh, Roscoe, and Jason, but through some unknown source, it was all reformed.

The desert winds fluttered as a cloaked silhouette walked through them, not disturbed in the least. No one seemed to be. It's as if they were all enclosed in a dream and suddenly woke up.

An audience began laughing, falling out of their seats.

"And what's the deal with Airline food? You expect me to pay 18 dollars for a porterhouse steak when I can look up porn for free?" Locke cackled. Everyone began howling as Locke bowed and put the microphone back in its stand. He walked through the curtains and out of the building. He looked up and sighed as he let the moonlight eclipse him and the cars pass by.

"Dude, man, have you like...tried this weed?"

Locke looked behind him. He saw an emaciated man with eyes as big as eG's asshole. He looked a bit ragged and not all there.


Locke slowly walked back. "Er...I don't know what you're on about..."

"My name's Silent. SilentKO. I like smoking weed. It makes me feel like I'm actually of value society."

"Dark as fuck, yo..." Locke whispered.

"WATCH OUT!" Silent cried with an outstretched arm.

Locke looked behind him as Silent pushed him out of the way as a giant green, slimy blob arm smacked the concrete sending them both flying away.
"What the fuck is going on!?" Locke yelled as the giant monster blob roared at them.

Silent took Locke's arm and ran as the creature began chasing them. Silent saw a quarter and his eyes widened as he let go of Locke and went to pick it up. Locke's eyes widened at Silent's stupidity as the creature rose itself off the ground to devour them both.

Locke closed his eyes as a shadow leapt out and smacked the creature in the face with a guitar, sending it flying away. He clasped his hands together as a blue aura surrounded him and his hair turned a spiky blue-teal color. The man flipped the guitar in the arm as the creature regained its composure and ran towards the man. The guitar landed in his hand as he pointed it towards the horrendous blob and a giant circular mass of blue energy formed at the neck of the guitar. With no stop time, the energy shot out and hit the blob straight on. A giant explosion of energy emitted and residue shot all over the place. The buildings and cars and people around were coated in a giant mess of green ooze.

Locke and Silent wiped as much as they could off as Locke stood awe-stricken at the man in front of him. "Who...what are you...?" Locke questioned.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm Roscoe Thunderpants."

Rate Post
I don't know half of the words you said -1
(11-11-2015, 11:01 PM)[RBL] Acidic_Gaming Wrote: I don't know half of the words you said -1

Pls lern 2 vocab
I can't find a word I don't know XD
The king of dying by fall damage on a T round
"Nobody likes tits" -Ham and Cheese, 2K15
"I 100% swear I was a t" -DerpehBunniez
(responding to question about my rank) "Yes, finger is finger" -Kyi
Chapter 2: Silence of the LANs

Derpeh awoke, covered in seaweed and pornographic pictures of rabbits. He couldn't for the life of him remember what has previously transpired. Bits and pieces, but never a full picture. He heard the crashing of waves on the shoreline and sighed. He hated happy or beautiful things. And most of all: he hated stupid things. Nature was stupid. Why couldn't nature not be stupid? These were questions that he needed answered. "I must find a celestial being with the power to make me believe!"

He saw a figure outstretching a hand to him. He slapped it aside as the man jumped in the air, did a front flip, and spun around before spreading his legs and shoving his head between them. "MY NAME..IS LOCKENESS! I WILL LOCKE YOUR HEART AWAY. BABY I'M WORTH IT~"

Derpeh drop kicked Locke and sent him flying away. He landed in the ocean and was immediately devoured by a shark. Derpeh chuckled as he was attacked from behind by a puppy. The two tussled through the sand as the puppy began violently licking his face. Derpeh sighed as his companion began loyally following him around.

Silent began walking through the streets with Roscoe in tow. They weren't sure what to expect, but it wasn't normal whatever it was. Silent, despite being very dim, knew something wasn't right. Locke magically disappeared, and a man had just appeared out of nowhere and fought a giant blob. As Silent was crossing the street, headlights zoomed up on him. His eyes widened as he was hit full on and went careening off the side of the road. The car zig-zagged as it hit a building wall and started smoking up.

The owner rushed out and checked on the injured Silent as Roscoe chuckled at the goings on. The man opened his eyes as they began sparkling. 'Oh mmyyy~ You attractive Hobo~ I do ever so much apologize! I was busy reading a news article about how men have better sex with each other than with women in Gaybomagazine and you just happened to get in front of my car! It must be fate~ I'm FingerKnitter. Look how suave I am and how deep my voice is."

Silent had foam coming out of his mouth while Finger started having a noticeable growth down below. "I have to have you..."

Derpeh came from the air doing a helicopter kick, and sent Finger flinging into a building. Derpeh met eye-to-eye with Roscoe. The two just stared at each other. There was an air of familiarity, but nothing came to mind. They felt like they knew each other. Like they had fought together. But there was still nothing that could connect the two's subconscious memory together. They had no idea of the threat they had tackled together. The final kill and the event that led to the destruction of the universe in the first place. They had no idea of the powers that were at play or what brought to the resurrection of everything. But they would both soon find out. As the People of Prophecy, they were entwined in matters that neither of them would understand. But one thing was for sure: This is a sequel, so shit's going to happen one way or another.
Chapter 3: The Obligatory Showdown.

Derp's eyes widened as a meteor came crashing down towards the city. A swirling blue energy formed in Derpeh's hands as it was released and collided with the meteor. The meteor blew into several huge chunks and crashed in different parts of the city, but a giant golden light shone through.

A man landed on the ground shrouded in a cloak. As he turned his head 69 degrees behind him, and 34 degrees diagonally, he looked at Derpeh. "I am here to fight you! Super kawaii desu ne warawa neko da!"

Derpeh zoomed towards the man, who charged towards Derpeh. They clashed, locking their hands together and destroying a large part of the surrounding area just by the intense speed of their respective charges. The man kicked Derpeh in the chin, who went flying upward and hit Derpeh to the ground with two clenched fists. He landed gracefully as Derpeh got up from the crater, open his mouth, and threw a Bunny Bomb which exploded right in the man's face. The man slid backwards as his cloak was destroyed.

Derpeh turned into a Chibi with a giant head. "CAMERA! IT'S YOU!"

Camera looked and took out a cigarette. Smoking gracefully. "Same tbh."

Derpeh sighed as he took a stance. His eyes full of intensity, he began to yell as his hair stood up slightly and started extending. A golden aura enveloped his body. His hair was golden. "I am now..Super Derpeh."

Camera smirked. "This isn't even my final form." Camera began yelling too as his body began shrinking. Derp looked in shock as Camera turned into a Camera stand.

"You're more powerful than I expected, Camera...Let's do this."

Derpeh and Camera clashed again as the background turned into a bunch of really fast lines which changed color with every blow. Camera began spinning around like a frisbee and knocked Derp down again.

"Multiple Bunny Bomb blast!"

Several explosive bunnies launched out of Derpeh's mouth and went chasing after Camera. But a leather cover surrounded him as the bunnies hit him and exploded. Camera was unharmed. Derpeh teleported behind him and sent a powerful kick into one of his wooden legs. Sending him flying through building after building. A small light surrounded Camera again. "This definitely isn't my final form..."

Camera transformed again into a camera strap. Derpeh powered up as well and his hair got even longer and spikier. They flew towards one another and got several good hits in. But Camera vanished. Derpeh frantically looked around as Camera once again came zooming at him like a frisbee. Derpeh was caught off guard as a good chunk of his arm as cut off by Camera's attack. Derpeh felt his consciousness and power slipping as the hair fell off. He fell to the ground as Camera looked at him and laughed.

Derpeh's eyes opened slightly. "Camera is so strong....How could I..have never known...That someone strong was out there? He's strong...Too strong...far too strong...But it's like I'm...It's making me...feel like...I'm really feeling....I'm starting to feel really...So excited!"

Energy swarmed around Derpeh as he was eclipsed by a blue light. Derpeh's fur had now turned a shining blue. "I am now...Super Derpeh God Super Derpeh." He said calmly.

Camera growled and then instantly exploded. When the smoke cleared, he was a digital camera. "THIS IS MY FINAL FORM! DIE!" A giant energy wave was shot at Derpeh, but then a pink beam of energy formed in Derpeh's hand

"KAWAII HAND OF GOD!" The beam was filled with hearts and easily overtook Camera's beam. Camera was blasted by his own attack and Derpeh's, destroying him completely.

The blue energy exhausted, Derpeh reverted to his normal form as tentacles shot out from the ground and grabbed Derpeh firmly. With one outstretched hand, his pug flew to him and in a ball of light, they fused. With one giant explosion of energy, the Bunpug destroyed the tentacles and collapsed to the ground, unconscious and unfused back into their normal states
I love it, this is gonna be the best story of 2015-Roscoe
Chapter 3: Can they be happy and sad?

Silent looked longingly in Finger's eyes. "Tonight! I want all of you tonight. Give me everything tonight~ For all we know, we might not get tomorrow let's do it tonight."

Silent started dancing to the beat as Pitbull began singing and swinging away. Finger and Silent gazed into each other's eyes as the night passed them by.
"Grab somebody sexy, tell 'em 'Hey! Give me everything tonight!"

Finger could feel tears brimming in his eyes as neon lights started bouncing around them. His hand clutched tightly in Silent's, the chorus began singing as Silent spun Finger around and held him close. The song continued on, and the explosions from afar were nothing to them but fireworks. The young lovers completely entranced by the ambience around them. "Silent...I will give you everything tonight..."

Derpeh still lay in his crater. His pug shuffled down and walked onto his body nonchalantly. Walking around in circles a few times, the pug took a comfortable position on Derpeh's face and began resting.

Derpeh's body began flailing as he shoved the pug off and woke up. Something came zooming towards his face, and he caught it with such mastery and majesticness, that even Justin Bieber's balls would have dropped from sheer amazement. He looked and saw what was thrown at him was a chocolate bar. He looked up to see a young teen smiling down at him.

"Name's Bloodbath, stranger! Fancy seeing something like this. I usually never leave home and can't find anything interesting around here. What happened?"

"I think I raided eG's porn collection..." Derpeh said under his breath.

The kid giggled as he threw down a rope to help Derpeh climb up. But Derpeh closed his eyes and levitated out of the crater, landing right beside Bloodbath.

Roscoe came smack down onto the ground, sending Derpeh and Bloodbath into the crater. "Sup?"

Derpeh felt irritation taking hold. "You stupid jackass! I just got out of this dirty, wide, hole!"

Roscoe snickered, obviously not really caring about his actions. Derpeh grabbed Bloodbath and threw him out as he once again flew out of the hole with his pug. Derpeh felt a familiar air about Roscoe. Like someone from a half remembered dream. He would never admit it, but it disturbed him a little that he couldn't remember where Roscoe was from. But there was a partnership type feeling. Nothing friendly, but just a feeling they had worked together to take down something massive.

"Like a penis!" Roscoe commented.

Bloodbath and Derpeh looked in confusion as they began walking.

"Let's have a slumber party at my house! I have cable, pizza, ice cream, Fallout 4, and comfy bedding!" Bloodbath beamed.

"Fallout 4 is fucking dumb and overrated." Roscoe sighed.

"Yeah, ironic that Fallout 4 turns other places into barren wastelands..." Derpeh commented.

"You know, I never thought about it that way. But it's still fucking dumb."

"Same tbh." Camera retorted.

Derpeh looked around frantically to locate Camera, but he couldn't do it at all. He sighed and ignored what he just heard. "You have Game of Thrones, Blood?" Derpeh asked.

"Sure do!"

"Good. Let's binge watch."

"Game of thrones is fucking lame!" Roscoe replied.

And so, the three new buddies walked into the sunset. Completely forgetting about the scene with Silent and Finger.
This thing between me and silent makes me seem pretty gay.

So this is completely accurate
The king of dying by fall damage on a T round
"Nobody likes tits" -Ham and Cheese, 2K15
"I 100% swear I was a t" -DerpehBunniez
(responding to question about my rank) "Yes, finger is finger" -Kyi
Best fan-fic I've ever read, when do they sex? i need to know when the sex happens

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